Every week we seem to hear about someone who is suffering from stress. It is becoming more widespread as the pressures and demands of modern living takes its toll.

Stress can originate anywhere and the causes are numerous. Rushing in the morning for work, bills in the post, poor relationships, traffic hold-ups, being late for meetings, criticism, pressure, lack of appreciation or understanding the list goes on and on.

What is stressful for one person may be perfectly acceptable to another, indeed some people seem to thrive on stress and others seem to go to pieces over the slightest little thing. Stress, it seems, is not triggered by an actual event, but how we as an individual react to that event. The situation that makes us feel stressed one day could have no impact the next. More usual though, is that there is a gradual build up of stress, which may or may not, eventually exceed personal tolerance levels.

Not all stress is bad, we need a certain amount of it to motivate us, to get the best out of us. Without stress we can become apathetic, lethargic, lazy. Stress is activating. It’s all a case of balance.

There are two main types of stress, Eustress is the positive and Distress of course, the negative. There is also Post Traumatic Stress, which, as its name suggests, can occur as a consequence of a past traumatic experience.

You might feel yourself to be under constant pressure and unable to cope with the demands of today’s hectic lifestyle. It seems strange that when we have so many time-saving, labor saving devices, washing machines, microwaves, tumble dryers, dishwashers, fast cars, to name but a few, many of us still find it difficult to enjoy quality time doing what we really want to do. How much time have we actually gained from these inventions? When we do have the spare time, how many of us feel guilty when we are inactive or doing something for ourselves?

Many people today are suffering from ‘information overload’ too much information for the brain to cope with. We wake up with fuzzy heads and we go to bed with fuzzy heads. Some companies put undue pressure on their employees; performance, productivity, profit the competition is fierce and we must all pull our weight or face the consequences.

Primitive man was governed by the need to hunt for food and the animal body is designed to act or react as in the ‘fight or flight’ response. When faced with danger the blood flows away from the stomach and to the limbs, (hence that sinking feeling) to enable man to run or fight; the digestion shuts down, which is why it is never a good idea to eat when under stress, otherwise you could suffer from indigestion. The muscles tense ready for action, the glands secrete adrenalin, a powerful chemical eventually, when the threat of an attack is over the body returns to a state of near normal, but it is still on the alert - remaining vigilant.

Technology has advanced at a far greater speed than human beings have. And the stressors of yesteryear are very different from the ones of today. We rarely need to fight or flee these days, (even though we may feel like doing so,) but our body is still prepared.

In consequence all that negative energy accumulates in the muscles. It may cause ulcers, migraine, tension headache, irritable bowel syndrome, and anxiety or panic attacks, perhaps just feelings of general unease. There could be dizziness, irritability, a feeling of being constantly ‘on edge’.

Too much stress results in failure of the immune system to produce those important T cells that help to fight off infection. The immune system then attacks itself, resulting in arthritis, ME, MS, HIV, allergies, asthma, to name but a few.

It is known that bereaved people are more at risk of illness than partners who are together. The mental state is lowered leaving them wide open to negative influences.

So what can we do to discharge the stress?

Well for a start, exercise is great; any kind of exercise will make us feel good, whether it be aerobic such as swimming, dancing, walking, jogging, running or anaerobic such as tennis, football, Exercise is a wonderful stress-buster because it helps to release tension, but after a busy day most people prefer to collapse in front of the television with a drink in their hand.

Take a look at the cause of your stress and see if you can do something about it. At first glance this may sound obvious but if you analyze the cause you may find that the reason is not always so easy to pinpoint. For example you may be stressed because of the amount of work that you have to do; perhaps you are dealing with complaints or difficult customers or trying to achieve impossible targets etc.

If you can do something to alleviate the situation then do it. But if not, accept that you have to change your reaction to it.

For example if dealing with difficult customers is part of your job then examine your options. You can either,

a. continue as you are doing, feeling stressed.

b. change your job.

c. change your own attitude, i.e. don’t take complaints personally.

Worrying about something which is beyond your control will only make you ill.

If you feel under pressure because of the amount of work you have to do, examine your options. You either

a. continue as you are doing, getting into a flap over your work.

b. change your job

c. change your own attitude, i.e. accept that there is only so much that you can do, do it to the best of your ability, but don’t worry about what you can’t do.

I am assuming here that you have explored avenues such as discussing your overload with your boss; this comes under taking a look at the cause of your stress and seeing if you can do something about it.

Right, I can hear you now, saying “Oh it’s alright to say that, but my boss will not accept that, the work has got to be done.” My point is this, you are only physically able to do so much, you can either do it under stress or without stress.

Worrying about something which is beyond your control will only make you ill.

You cannot change other people. People can change, and often do, but that is their decision. Therefore if you are the one who is suffering from stress then you are the one who must change. It is that simple.

Now I can almost hear you saying ‘’Of course it’s not that simple, don’t you think if I could change I would have done!’ Well, maybe, but maybe not. We are all resistant to change, that is human nature, and anyway you may be blaming other people for the cause of that stress that is also, to a certain extent, human nature. But we can change just like the people mentioned above when we decide to.

Once we have decided to change we can wonder how we will go about effecting these changes. There are ways, easy ways.

One of these ways entails using simple mind techniques to reprogram the subconscious mind to accept a healthier and more beneficial outlook.

You may be feeling a little dubious about the terming of the subconscious mind so a brief description of the way the mind works may help you to understand its function.

If we think of the mind as an iceberg, you could perhaps imagine the tip of the iceberg to be the conscious mind, the part of you that is thinking now. This part of the mind deals with problems at hand but when it encounters events that have been previously experienced it will dip into the deeper sub-conscious mind to see how to deal with this problem or event.

The sub-conscious mind holds all the information about everything that has ever happened to you, everything you’ve ever seen, heard, done, smelt, dreamt, touched, thought it is all there, recorded in and around the cells as electrical nerve impulses.

Now the subconscious mind is not as intelligent as the conscious mind, in many ways it is quite childlike and takes things very literally. The conscious mind can be thought of as the ‘critical censor’ guarding the entrance to the subconscious mind evaluating the information that is to be stored in the deeper vaults of the subconscious. Once the information has entered into the mind it is filed away in the appropriate compartment.

However, and this next point is extremely important - the subconscious does not differentiate between fact and fantasy and when the conscious, thinking mind wishes to draw upon past experience it will dip in and examine a piece of what it considers to be, relevant information to tell it how to deal with this situation.

Of course I have over-simplified all this, there is a lot more to it than I have briefly outlined and if you are interested in exploring this further then some excellent books are recommended at the end of these notes. But I want to give you an idea of how the mind functions and how you can improve your outcome, whatever the situation.

When the conscious thinking mind is relaxed, or occupied elsewhere, it drops its guard somewhat, allowing data to filter in, uncensored. We can make use of this knowledge to help us to deal with unwanted behavior patterns, such as the stress response, addictions to food, tobacco, alcohol, anxiety states, panic attacks, and relationship difficulties in fact any problem of a psycho somatic nature.

Advertisers and politicians make use of this knowledge to make us buy their products or vote for them. Subliminal messages are all around us and most of the time we are completely unaware of the ‘stuff’ that is being put into our minds.

However, knowing all this, we can now decide what goes into our mind. We can put that information there. We can make full use of our potential.

Actually I’ve not told you of a fraction of the things you can do with this knowledge. You’ve probably heard that human beings use only about a tenth of their brain power and for a long time Russians have been exploring areas such as telepathy and distance vision. We know that people are more intuitive when the mind is relaxed, you can increase your confidence, help with stage fright, public speaking, memory enhancement, sport performance, compulsive behaviors, phobias, ‘go back’ to events that occurred in childhood, infancy, even the womb - the list is limitless.

A relatively new area of psychology is Neuro-Linguistic-Programming (NLP) which enables people to move out of their existing mind-set, to model themselves on successful individuals through visualization, time-orientation and specific language patterns

These are just a few of the things you can hope to achieve with your knowledge if you wish to.

However, returning to the issue of dealing with stress. If you have attended a course on stress-management, hypnotherapy or deep-relaxation then you will know exactly how it feels when the conscious mind is relaxed you may recognize these feelings as similar to ones you’ve had when engrossed in something you’ve really enjoyed doing, or perhaps daydreaming. But what we are using is a form of creative relaxation. We are using this relaxation for a specific purpose, and that is to make changes.

Making your own self-Hypnosis tape is one way of coping with stress, however if you feel that you may have deeper underlying problems then consult your G.P. or seek professional advise.

You may prefer to combine your relaxation with other methods such as reflexology, massage or aromatherapy. Essential oils are uplifting and in some countries are issued by GPs as treatment for medical problems.

Listening to music can have a therapeutic effect, or finding some other creative outlet such as painting, drawing, pottery, drama, decoupage, or embroidery. If you are stuck for ideas then you can ask your subconscious mind to bring forward the creativity within you, by inserting the suggestion into the above script. For example: “I become more creative as my mind brings forward new ideas.” Or think back to when you were a child, what hopes and aspirations did you have then? Perhaps there is something there that has taken a backseat in your life and now is the time to explore the potential which you and every human being on this earth, holds within.

You may be feeling that I have diversified from the subject of stress but the body and mind are in harmony when there is balance. Many people today are left-brain dominant, lacking in creativity. We can ‘tune in’ to our natural resources.

Another way of changing is to focus outwardly instead of inwardly. If you have a difficult customer or client, put yourself in his place. Imagine you are that person, seeing what he sees, feeling what he feels. Try to match your breathing, your smiling, your frowning with his. If he is tapping his fingers or feet nervously then nod in tune with him, do all this subtlety and it will be registered on an unconscious level, this will put you in rapport and you will find that he warms to you, because he feels that you are like him. When you are in rapport you can begin to lead the person to the desired outcome.

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There are over 100 things that you can work on with your Personal/Professional Coach, but here are the Top 10.
1. You will set far better goals that motivate you in a healthy way.
Did you have Goal Setting 101 in high school? Probably not. Enter the Coach, an expert in helping you to identify and set the goals that you really want, not the ones that are "shoulds," pipedreams that you've been recycling or that mirror the goals of your parents, society or Madison Avenue. Choosing the right goals for you is an art and the Coach takes the necessary time to help you clarify your personal values, so that you have something really solid on which to develop your goals. Value-based goals are naturally motivating, but it takes good Coaching to get to these.
2. You'll accomplish goals and tasks and projects much more quickly.
One of the reasons that people hire a Coach is to save themselves time. Working with a Coach, they learn how to be far more effective, efficient and productive in everything that they do, including their job/business or personal projects. We humans just aren't that naturally effective, even if we think that we are. The Coach has the tools and techniques to share with their clients so that things get done in half the time. (Even the Coaching process is efficient -- on the phone, 1/2 hour a week, reasonable fee.)
3. You'll make fewer mistakes in your business life or in your personal life.
The old model of learning from your mistakes has deteriorated to be more like: How else will you learn if you don't make mistakes? Too expensive, in our view. With a Coach, you have a third eye, someone who's been there and who has Coached others in your situation, and an expert in getting the job done with the minimum of fuss (called learning curve, mistakes, errors in judgment, wrong tunnels, etc.). The costs (emotional, financial, time) of making mistakes has gotten very expensive in the past decade. A single mistake can ruin you in today's hyper-paced business environment. Some clients use their Coach as an inexpensive insurance policy.
4. You'll move up to the next level of your professional and personal life.
Almost everybody is moving up the ladder of business success, personal development, awareness and emotional balance. The coach can help you see where you are right now and point out ways to grow and get where you want to get to. Or, if you're not even on the ladder, the coach can guide you to it and help you get started on your path.
5. You'll reduce the number of problems you have and better resolve the
problems that are left. The first step in solving a problem is to ask yourself why you have this problem at all. The second step is to ask yourself why you have problems at all. The third step is to get on track to having no problems -- aka, becoming a Problem-Free Zone (PFZ). This is not a joke. Being a PFZ is becoming even more important along the path of sustainable success. You cannot afford to have problems, period. Life's too short and problems are too expensive. A well-trained coach can help you become a PFZ. A well-trained coach is a PFZ themselves.
6. You'll likely make more money in your career, profession or business.
Clients don't keep paying their Coaches just for the fun of it. Coaching, like every other professional service, needs to improve the financial bottom line and it does. Coaches are trained to help clients to leverage their ability to make money, i.e., getting a raise, choosing a better career, starting a business, improving profitability, adding more value to their customers, proper pricing, productivity and others. Sure, Coaching is personal, but it almost always includes a strong financial aspect.
7. You'll be a lot happier and this happiness will last.
Coaches know how to help you to reduce stress, integrate all aspects of your life, simplify or downshift, and reorient around what makes you the happiest. What good is increased productivity and profitability if you're not happy?
8. You'll be much more effective and influential with others: family,
business and personal relationships. Communication makes life life. A Coach is an expert communicator and trains clients on how to come across better, relate well with others, listen aggressively, influence, Coach, motivate and support others. There are over 100 communication and listening skills that clients can learn from a Coach.
9. You'll become much more attractive to others -- on the inside and on
the outside. Selling, as a profession and as a proven technique/process, is on its way out. Why? Because humans are getting better at choosing for themselves and buying better. Humans will respond less to advertising and selling techniques and instead be drawn to a product or service and they will be more likely drawn because of who is offering the product or service. This process is called attraction. It's real. It works. And it will replace much of the promotion, marketing, selling, seducing and other very expensive budget items. Remember, the world (aka consumers) is rapidly eliminating virtually all waste and inefficiencies in how business is conducted, products are sold and how services are delivered. Selling and mass marketing, while certainly still very effective right now, is on the hit list. Attraction is the next generation of selling and the well-trained Coach can help you and your business get on this track immediately.
10. You'll have a better life, not just a better lifestyle.
The term Quality of Life has become overused in the past few years, but the trend of Americans seeking to create a much better life for themselves is accelerating. In fact, people are re-examining what they had assumed that a good life was (married, 2.3 kids, nice car, secure job, church on Sundays, 3 weeks of vacation a year) and are now creating their own life, often breaking the rules and flying in the face of conventional wisdom in the process. Coaches understand the Life Design process and have already made many of the design changes in their life that their clients are just now beginning to make.

Time is the great equalizer. Everybody has the exact same number of hours in each day. For most people, the hours available are usually less than the hours needed to get everything done. However, by using the following principles of creativity, you should be able get more done in less time, while making certain that you are doing what's most important and moving yourself closer to your goals.
1. Start with quiet focus
When you have a lot to do, your first instinct is probably to hit the ground running. If you feel you have a tremendous amount to do, you may feel the urge to jump in and get started on your work. Rather than doing that, take a few minutes to get calm and organize your thoughts. Think of this as a short form of meditation - just try to empty your mind. After you have done this, your focus, energy, and perspective will all be improved. Taking a few minutes up front to center yourself can make you tremendously more productive.
2. Brainstorm your day
Take a piece of paper (it can be a loose sheet, but it can be helpful if it's part of a designated notebook or planner) and write down everything you need to do that day. Let your mind flow, and get everything out. As with all creative exercises, don't criticize your ideas - don't think of something you'd like to do and then not write it down because you think you won't be able to do it or that you shouldn't do it. The most important thing here is that you get everything onto the page.
3. Apply the 80/20 Rule to your List
Take this list you've created and apply the 80/20 rule to it. Remember, 80 percent of your results come from 20 percent of your effort. Circle only the 20% of items that will yield 80% of those results. This step will focus your day down to the critical tasks you must get down.
4. Chunk Up
For each circled activity, chunk up. Put the bigger picture in perspective. This will refocus and motivate you to work on it. Or, it may make you realize that the task is not as important as you thought. Having a 'why' is very helpful in getting us to work towards our goal, especially if the task is something we're not excited about doing.
5. Chunk Down
For each circled item remaining on the list, chunk down. Break the items down into smaller parts. You should strive to get them to a point where each task is broken down into a series of single action items. How big each item is depends on your work style. I like my action items to be things I can complete between 15 minutes and 1 hour.
6. Prioritize your list
Prioritize every item on your list. A simple way to do this is look at your list and ask yourself, 'at the end of today, what one thing on my list, if finished, will have the biggest positive impact on my life?' The answer to that is your number one priority. Ask that question again with the remaining items on your list. That's your number two item. Continue this until your list is complete.
7. Schedule those activities
For every action item in step 5, schedule when you will do it and how long it will take. Resolve to stick to the schedule. You can take two approaches to scheduling. First, and the way to ensure you get the most important work done, is to schedule your first priority item first in the day, then your second, and so on. You can also schedule your high priority items during your most productive hours. You have high and low productive times during the day. You know when they are, not me (if you don't know, pay attention to yourself for the next couple of weeks and figure it out). Scheduling this way ensures you devote your best time to the most important activities, but if your most productive time is first thing in the morning you run a greater risk of your high priority items not being done.
8. Go with the Flow
Be aware that the day has a way of stealing your time. Keep your 80/20 priorities in mind when new things come up. Make sure to prioritize and evaluate new things that come. Don't sacrifice an important item on your list to do something less important. At the same time, keep an open mind and be willing to flow with new items. Your schedule and list is there to help you - if something new comes up that will be more beneficial for you, go with it.
9. Go one at a time
Work through you list and schedule in the order you have it. For big tasks, don't be overwhelmed by the number of tasks, just work through them one at a time. Put your attention solely on the task at hand. For the vital action items, try to remove distractions. Turn off the phone, close the door, or work at a time when everyone else is asleep. You can finish a task that you might think would take you three hours in one hour if you put 100% of your attention on it.
Try following these 9 steps and watch your productivity explode!

Wisdom is not something one person can grab and keep for themselves.
Trying to capture and hold on to it makes it immediately slip away.

Wisdom is a process. It asks to be both a student and a teacher. It is
a community effort.

Sometimes I have wisdom to offer, and sometimes you do. It is not a
static relationship with one person on one side and the other person
on the other. Rather it is a dance in which we both play a part.